A little boy was
overheard talking to himself as he strutted through the backyard, wearing his
baseball cap and toting a ball and bat. “I’m the greatest hitter in the
world,” he announced.
Then, he tossed the ball into the air, swung at it and missed.
“Strike One!” he yelled. Undaunted, he picked up the ball and said again, “I’m the greatest hitter in the world!” He tossed the ball into the air.
When it came down, he swung again and missed. “Strike Two!” he cried.
The boy then paused a moment to examine his bat and ball carefully. He spit on his hands and rubbed them together.
He straightened his cap and said once more, “I’m the greatest hitter in the world!” Again, he tossed the ball up in the air and swung at it. He missed. “Strike Three!”
Wow!” he exclaimed. “I’m the greatest pitcher in the world!”
A therapist was walking along a Hawaiian beach when he kicked a bottle poking up through the sand. Opening it, he was astonished to see a cloud of smoke and a genie smiling at him.
“For your kindness,” the genie said, “I will grant you one wish!” The therapist paused, laughed, and replied, “I have always wanted a road from Hawaii to California.”
The genie grimaced, thought for a few minutes and said, “Listen, I’m sorry, but I can’t do that! Think of all the pilings needed to hold up the highway and how long they’d have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement. That’s too much to ask.”
“OK,” the therapist said, not wanting to be unreasonable. “I’m a psychologist. Make me understand my patients. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with, what do they really want? Basically, teach me to understand what makes them tick!”
The genie paused, and then sighed, “Did you want two lanes or four?”
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