** A patient goes to his therapist and says he is depressed. He says life seems harsh and cruel. He says he feels all alone in a threatening world, where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. The therapist says the treatment is simple. The great clown Terrifini is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up. The patient bursts into tears: “But, I am Terrifini.”
** Daily Affirmations for the Unstable
▪ I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless of course, I want to stay employed.
▪ Today, I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than “I told you so.”
▪ I honor my personality flaws, for without them I have no personality at all.
▪ Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it worrying about the future?
▪ Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day watching TV. Instead, I will move my TV into the bedroom.
▪ “I see you were last employed by a therapist” said the employer to the applicant. “Why did you leave?”
“Well”, the patient replied, “I just couldn’t win. If I was late to work, I was hostile. If I was early, I had an anxiety complex. If I was on time, I was compulsive.”
▪ A therapist met an old patient and exclaimed, “I heard you died.”
“But you see I am alive” smiled the ex-patient. “Impossible said the therapist. I was told by a colleague who’s had 22 peer reviewed papers published, so his opinion’s bound to be much more reliable than yours.”
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