Therapist to his assistant: “Just say we’re very busy. Don’t keeping saying it’s a madhouse.”
Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man than a woman? Because when it’s time to go back to childhood, a man is already there.
When the new patient was comfortably settled in the office, the therapist began by saying, “I’m not aware of your problem, so perhaps you should start at the very beginning.” “Of course.” replied the patient. “In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth.”
In a therapist’s waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, “Why are you here?” The second answers, “I’m Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here.” The first is curious and asks, “How do you know that you are Napoleon?” The second responds, “God told me I was.” At this point, a patient on the other side of the room shouts, “NO I DIDN’T!”
Patient to therapist, “I feel so short!” Therapist to patient, “No problem. Hop up on the couch.”
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