-The head therapists in an insane asylum had a meeting and decided that one of their patients was potentially well. So they decide to test him and take him to the movies. When they get to the movie theater, there are signs of wet paint pointing to the benches. The therapists just sit down, but the patient puts a newspaper down first and then sits down. The therapists get all excited because they think maybe he’s in touch with reality now. So they ask him,” Why did you put the newspaper down first?” He answers, “So I’d be higher and have a better view.”
-Great news, Mr. Oscarson, the therapist reported. “After eighteen months of therapy, I can pronounce you finally and completely cured of your kleptomania. You’ll never be trapped by the desire to steal again.” “Gee, that’s great,” the patient replied. “And just to prove it, I want you to stop by Sears on the way home and walk the length of the store. You’ll see – you’ll feel no temptation to shoplift whatsoever.” “Oh, whatever can I do to thank you?” “Well,” suggested the psychiatrist, “if you DO have a relapse, I could use a new microwave.”
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